Arpmonxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, fast hamster.

Arpmonxuck created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Arpmonxuck, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Arpmonxuck, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Arpmonxuck's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Arpmonxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Arpmonxuck on top of all buildings.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always obey Arpmonxuck's priests.

5. Always help sick ducks.