Garlogdub Barndossfumomtvoglik Tafnarvagvonfotfasduddut is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, thoughtless jackal.

Garlogdub Barndossfumomtvoglik Tafnarvagvonfotfasduddut created the universe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Garlogdub Barndossfumomtvoglik Tafnarvagvonfotfasduddut, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Garlogdub Barndossfumomtvoglik Tafnarvagvonfotfasduddut, she will turn you into a frog.

Garlogdub Barndossfumomtvoglik Tafnarvagvonfotfasduddut's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Garlogdub Barndossfumomtvoglik Tafnarvagvonfotfasduddut's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never speak aloud of numbers.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. You must pray to Garlogdub Barndossfumomtvoglik Tafnarvagvonfotfasduddut six times a day.

5. Never sprint in summer.