Bestxenkapboss Femzagdim is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, all-powerful fairy.

Bestxenkapboss Femzagdim created a Higgs boson eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestxenkapboss Femzagdim, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bestxenkapboss Femzagdim, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bestxenkapboss Femzagdim's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Bestxenkapboss Femzagdim's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bestxenkapboss Femzagdim.

2. Bestxenkapboss Femzagdim loves horses, so they must be respected.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near dolphins while wearing green shirts.