Ciptargvon is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unjust dog.

Ciptargvon created Mount Everest two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ciptargvon, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ciptargvon, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Ciptargvon's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Ciptargvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat figs.

2. Worship no other gods but Ciptargvon.

3. Never discuss archaea in public assemblies.

4. Never feed gooseberries to voles while wearing shorts.

5. Always treat sharks with great respect.