Matvangem is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tiresome wren.

Matvangem created the Black Eye Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Matvangem, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Matvangem, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Matvangem's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Matvangem's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Matvangem.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about dark energy.

4. Never think ill of sick voles.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.