Yatbafjon is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unfair pigeon.

Yatbafjon created Europe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatbafjon, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yatbafjon, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yatbafjon's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Yatbafjon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

2. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Yatbafjon in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yatbafjon.