Bagfompop is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, loving hippopotamus.

Bagfompop created water six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagfompop, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bagfompop, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Bagfompop's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bagfompop's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not hop in public.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near sheep while wearing mauve coats and balancing four titanium spheres on your hands.

5. Put Bagfompop first in all things.