Vonvanbadrip is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, loving alligator.

Vonvanbadrip created the Virgo Supercluster two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonvanbadrip, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonvanbadrip, she will destroy your home planet.

Vonvanbadrip's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Vonvanbadrip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about melons.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never write about dark matter.