Cancussdid is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, humorless toad.

Cancussdid created matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cancussdid, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cancussdid, she will throw large rocks at you.

Cancussdid's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Cancussdid's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

3. Never wear cyan rings on sacred days.

4. Hide if eight great tits approach from the east.

5. Never carve symbols of stars into wood.