Tagnutgid is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, merciful giraffe.

Tagnutgid created a quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tagnutgid, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tagnutgid, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Tagnutgid's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Tagnutgid's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Always wear white.