Nakshavbin is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, vain gerbil.

Nakshavbin created matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakshavbin, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nakshavbin, she will turn you into a duck.

Nakshavbin's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Nakshavbin's Holy Commandments

1. Remain standing during prayer.

2. Never speak of balance in the presence of priests.

3. Shun those given to greed.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Always help dogs.