Batyiklap is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, dishonest fox.

Batyiklap created oxygen seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batyiklap, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Batyiklap, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Batyiklap's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Batyiklap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about enzymes.

2. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Batyiklap in the centre of the settlement.

3. You must love Batyiklap.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near tortoises while wearing white kilts and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your neck.