Metpangbass is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, tiresome human.

Metpangbass created matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Metpangbass, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Metpangbass, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Metpangbass' most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Metpangbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never go into indigo rooms.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

3. Worship no other gods but Metpangbass.

4. Never write about dwarf planets.

5. Pray towards the south.