Nuttarmquag is a god.

It takes the form of a small, irritating elephant.

Nuttarmquag created oxygen two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttarmquag, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nuttarmquag, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Nuttarmquag's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Nuttarmquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always help whales.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not eat limes.