Sigcumjen Nabweglip is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, bad-tempered spider.

Sigcumjen Nabweglip created dark matter four years ago.

If you believe in Sigcumjen Nabweglip, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sigcumjen Nabweglip, it will torture you forever.

Sigcumjen Nabweglip's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Sigcumjen Nabweglip's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt turtles.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Do not take Sigcumjen Nabweglip's name in vain.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Do not covet oxen.