Dubcepbep is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, narcissistic octopus.

Dubcepbep created energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubcepbep, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dubcepbep, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Dubcepbep's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Dubcepbep's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Dubcepbep.

2. Never feed lots of grapes to dolphins while wearing mauve shirts.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never go into black rooms.

5. Hide if six turtles approach from the north.