Bisshamton is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, conceited bear.

Bisshamton created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bisshamton, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bisshamton, she will turn you into a mouse.

Bisshamton's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Bisshamton's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

4. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.