Likwadlak is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unthinking pig.

Likwadlak created life two years ago.

If you believe in Likwadlak, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Likwadlak, it will turn you into a dog.

Likwadlak's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Likwadlak's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Likwadlak four times a day.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Run away if five pigs approach from the south.

4. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.