Dibvogtof is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, kind jackal.

Dibvogtof created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dibvogtof, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dibvogtof, it will boil you in a big pot.

Dibvogtof's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Dibvogtof's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about optics.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Feed all hungry snails.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Geese are not to be trusted.