Hivlagkensas is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, amazing bird.

Hivlagkensas created dark energy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hivlagkensas, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hivlagkensas, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Hivlagkensas' most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Hivlagkensas' Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Pigs are not to be trusted.

4. Hivlagkensas must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.