Omtwothog is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, fussy wren.

Omtwothog created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtwothog, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Omtwothog, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Omtwothog's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Omtwothog's Holy Commandments

1. Omtwothog must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Pray towards the east.