Vegtalkim is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, calm wolf.

Vegtalkim created light four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vegtalkim, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vegtalkim, he will throw large rocks at you.

Vegtalkim's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Vegtalkim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always help swans.

4. Erect a large gold sculpture of Vegtalkim on top of all buildings.

5. Feed all hungry otters.