Afcitwan is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, omnipotent giraffe.

Afcitwan created the Cigar Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Afcitwan, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Afcitwan, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Afcitwan's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Afcitwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Afcitwan.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.