Kapjatman Hindimzenhigtinmidflis is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, witless salamander.

Kapjatman Hindimzenhigtinmidflis created the planet Saturn four million years ago.

If you believe in Kapjatman Hindimzenhigtinmidflis, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kapjatman Hindimzenhigtinmidflis, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kapjatman Hindimzenhigtinmidflis' most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Kapjatman Hindimzenhigtinmidflis' Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat apples.

2. Never think ill of sick goats.

3. Never think about chlorophyll.

4. Always obey Kapjatman Hindimzenhigtinmidflis' priests.

5. Never write about planets.