Jabtonkleg is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, contented unicorn.

Jabtonkleg created the Small Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Jabtonkleg, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jabtonkleg, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Jabtonkleg's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Jabtonkleg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt moths.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never wear purple shoes.