Vabfemstik is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, conceited wasp.

Vabfemstik created an electron four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vabfemstik, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vabfemstik, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Vabfemstik's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Vabfemstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never record secrets.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Vabfemstik.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Remain kneeling during prayer.

5. Never talk about spacetime near turtles while wearing brown ear rings and balancing seven iron spheres on your back.