Cubfudvon Habnellzed is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, fast owl.

Cubfudvon Habnellzed created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubfudvon Habnellzed, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cubfudvon Habnellzed, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Cubfudvon Habnellzed's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Cubfudvon Habnellzed's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Feed all hungry frogs.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. You must pray to Cubfudvon Habnellzed three times a day.

5. Never talk about fire.