Bamziglatlan is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, irritating alligator.

Bamziglatlan created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamziglatlan, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bamziglatlan, it will make you grow a tail.

Bamziglatlan's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bamziglatlan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never think about enzymes.

3. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always take life seriously.