Kapgetgom is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, bad-tempered monkey.

Kapgetgom created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapgetgom, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Kapgetgom, he will turn you into a hamster.

Kapgetgom's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Kapgetgom's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Kapgetgom.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always help pigs in need.

4. Do not take Kapgetgom's name in vain.

5. Do not wear red clothing.