Wabranfud Wittunvag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, smart guinea pig.

Wabranfud Wittunvag created snails four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wabranfud Wittunvag, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Wabranfud Wittunvag, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Wabranfud Wittunvag's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Wabranfud Wittunvag's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

4. Do not hurt shrews.

5. Do not covet oxen.