Tignullsangam is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, omnipotent toad.

Tignullsangam created humankind eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tignullsangam, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tignullsangam, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Tignullsangam's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Tignullsangam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dwarf planets.

2. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Tignullsangam in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not kill seals.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.