Xuckfottof is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, resourceful grasshopper.

Xuckfottof created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Xuckfottof, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Xuckfottof, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Xuckfottof's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Xuckfottof's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine snakes approach from the south.

2. Erect a giant red sculpture of Xuckfottof in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not wear gold on your body.