Kargamlak is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, idiotic eagle.

Kargamlak created carbon five million years ago.

If you believe in Kargamlak, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Kargamlak, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Kargamlak's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Kargamlak's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

3. You must never eat spinach.

4. Never handle silver while unclean.

5. Put Kargamlak first in all things.