Guplan is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, two-faced weasel.

Guplan created matter four years ago.

If you believe in Guplan, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Guplan, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Guplan's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Guplan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place beans upon stone.

2. Never gather four snails in one place.

3. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never tolerate cries in holy places.