Bestcumsit is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, temperamental cow.

Bestcumsit created the Virgo Supercluster two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bestcumsit, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bestcumsit, she will not invite you to parties.

Bestcumsit's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Bestcumsit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of special relativity near sacred fires.

2. Never gather seven voles in one place.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Never hurt shrews.