Pan is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, selfish duck.

Pan created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pan, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pan, she will turn you into a mouse.

Pan's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Pan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

3. You must pray to Pan five times a day.

4. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.