Dussyakmil Padvilcab is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, unjust otter.

Dussyakmil Padvilcab created an up quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dussyakmil Padvilcab, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dussyakmil Padvilcab, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Dussyakmil Padvilcab's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Dussyakmil Padvilcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick mice.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. Do not take Dussyakmil Padvilcab's name in vain.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.