Omtbagpak is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, passionate beaver.

Omtbagpak created the Small Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtbagpak, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Omtbagpak, she will turn you into a mole.

Omtbagpak's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Omtbagpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in autumn.

2. Never stain your neck with cyan.

3. Always act with purity when addressing children.

4. Never cross mountains at dusk.

5. Always help pigs.