Donvonweg is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, thoughtless troll.

Donvonweg created the Sunflower Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Donvonweg, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Donvonweg, she will throw large rocks at you.

Donvonweg's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Donvonweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head red.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Never pray while filled with anger.