Hapbassdog is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, grumpy duck.

Hapbassdog created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hapbassdog, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hapbassdog, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Hapbassdog's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Hapbassdog's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not kill great tits.

4. Do not dye your hair gray.

5. Do not hurt seals.