Bidrawgem Jentargvag is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, humane coyote.

Bidrawgem Jentargvag created everything that exists seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bidrawgem Jentargvag, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bidrawgem Jentargvag, he will not invite you to parties.

Bidrawgem Jentargvag's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Bidrawgem Jentargvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near aardvarks while wearing turquoise trousers and balancing six gold spheres on your chest.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.