Tifhunwee is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, amazing coyote.

Tifhunwee created the planet Saturn twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tifhunwee, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tifhunwee, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tifhunwee's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Tifhunwee's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never jump in the presence of snakes.

3. Never hop near goats.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics near birds while wearing gray trousers and balancing four silicon spheres on your chest.

5. Pray towards the south.