Ponkimjabgemhingundoss is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, happy wyrm.

Ponkimjabgemhingundoss created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ponkimjabgemhingundoss, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ponkimjabgemhingundoss, he will turn you into a slug.

Ponkimjabgemhingundoss' most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Ponkimjabgemhingundoss' Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Ponkimjabgemhingundoss.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.