Nilhanqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, grumpy hedgehog.

Nilhanqueeg created Europe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilhanqueeg, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nilhanqueeg, he will throw large rocks at you.

Nilhanqueeg's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Nilhanqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near capybaras while wearing pink trousers and balancing eight carbon spheres on your head.