Garrowlan is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, unthinking gerbil.

Garrowlan created an atom nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Garrowlan, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Garrowlan, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Garrowlan's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Garrowlan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear skirts.

2. Always help bats.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Retreat if three whales approach from the east.

5. Do not eat lentils.