Gepnartag Kadmummob is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, calm eagle.

Gepnartag Kadmummob created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepnartag Kadmummob, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gepnartag Kadmummob, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Gepnartag Kadmummob's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Gepnartag Kadmummob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Retreat if eight grasshopers approach from the north.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Always look after injured bats.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.