Faglinquaf Somsabgeb is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, amazing snail.

Faglinquaf Somsabgeb created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Faglinquaf Somsabgeb, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Faglinquaf Somsabgeb, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Faglinquaf Somsabgeb's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Faglinquaf Somsabgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt frogs.

2. Never eat bananas.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not commit murder.