Lancipquat is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, tranquil capybara.

Lancipquat created water nine million years ago.

If you believe in Lancipquat, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lancipquat, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Lancipquat's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Lancipquat's Holy Commandments

1. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never think about dwarf planets.

3. Always look after injured tapirs.

4. Never feed coconuts to birds while wearing jumpers.

5. Do not kill manatees.