Febsog is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, contented alligator.

Febsog created the Sol system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Febsog, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Febsog, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Febsog's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Febsog's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Febsog.

2. Hide if three doves approach from the north.

3. Never talk about enzymes.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.