Vabtarpont is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish hummingbird.

Vabtarpont created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vabtarpont, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vabtarpont, it will cry a lot.

Vabtarpont's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Vabtarpont's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Vabtarpont.

2. Hide if nine dolphins approach from the north.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vabtarpont.

4. Do not eat nuts.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.