Tambapmab is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, ruthless parrot.

Tambapmab created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tambapmab, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tambapmab, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Tambapmab's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Tambapmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not dye your hair red.

4. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Tambapmab in the centre of the settlement.

5. Feed all hungry nematodes.