Listvonkbestteenstiglakban is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, strong cat.

Listvonkbestteenstiglakban created oxygen four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Listvonkbestteenstiglakban, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Listvonkbestteenstiglakban, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Listvonkbestteenstiglakban's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Listvonkbestteenstiglakban's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Listvonkbestteenstiglakban.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Listvonkbestteenstiglakban must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always help sick squirrels.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.