Barnlaklikgess Kikyarstip is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, astonishing gerbil.

Barnlaklikgess Kikyarstip created Africa three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnlaklikgess Kikyarstip, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Barnlaklikgess Kikyarstip, he will turn you into a worm.

Barnlaklikgess Kikyarstip's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Barnlaklikgess Kikyarstip's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Retreat if eight sheep approach from the east.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near doves while wearing red dresses and balancing three silver spheres on your back.